Are you an Interior Designer?
No I’m NOT!!
Just a few days of interactions with a handful of contractors in this line of business, and I have been called ‘Mr. Architect’, ‘Ms. Know It All’, etc. etc….Why, Thank You!!
We love breaking rules.
A couple of contractors gave me an appointment, only after confirming that “the decision maker” other than me will be present for the appointment as well.
At one of these joint decision making appointments ;) for a bathroom makeover quote, my husband was complimented on how wise he is to “LET” his wife be the decision maker in matters of home design. My husband is sweet, he took their card, and told them he will give them a call if necessary. He also told them, “Frankly, if my wife’s current project is successful, you have a competitor in the making. We will surely see you around.”
Told ya, we love breaking rules. And, we are all in to learn along the way :)
So, ‘Why Home Design? How Home Design? Do you have a qualification?’
July 26, 2005, the severe storm and Bombay floods in the history of the city. I remember that day like it was yesterday. Our 500 sq ft flat on the ground level. Mum and me looking out the window, contemplating, “Will it flood today? Do you think we should start emptying all our valuables from storage spaces close to the floor?”
And then it happened. There was absolutely no time to react. Our home was flooded in a matter of minutes. Before I could even get all the bedding stored in our storage bed, or our month’s worth of flour and rice and any other valuables from anywhere in the house, we realized that our bed was floating, and it was all futile.
Dad was still not home from work, and we knew he wasn’t going to return that night because all modes of transport had come to a grounding halt. Neighbors rallied to check on each other. 5 homes on ground level saw all their belongings just get destroyed by flood and sewage water.
That night was the longest. Mum didn’t wanna leave the home, but there was no way anyone could survive the night. We all took shelter in homes upstairs in our building. We saw autorikshaws completely drowned on the street.
This wasn’t the first time. This year just happened to be the worst of all.
Each year the rains would flood our homes. It was just that our building wasn’t built right. Each year Mum would want to upgrade something in the house, but wouldn’t go through with it, because of the damage it would incur by the floods the following year. I had seen her tear up so many times, her only wish, having a flat/home on one of the upper levels some day, so she can sip some tea and enjoy the rain looking out the window.
I flew out to the US two weeks later, on August 08, 2005, for my Masters, after almost deferring my admission.
I don’t think anyone in my family knows what a home feels like. In my opinion, we are all homesick, with no sense of what a safe home really is. And this may be a generational trauma, that began with my ancestors going through the India - Pakistan partition.
You see I am a Sindhi, and while India and Pakistan were a single country; post partition, Sindh, fell in Pakistan, and all my ancestors had to take refuge in India. My Grandma told me stories of how she lived in a big house with a farm land and farm animals all on the same grounds, much like a farmhouse. They had to leave everything behind, and live in refugee camps all over India.
Our beginnings have been very humble, and I am extremely thankful to my Mum for being the cycle breaker in her own ways. For being courageous and bringing up two girls with strength. My sister and I are both Engineering Graduates, and live comfortably with our own families.
This need to have a house where everyone has space and we can cook in a kitchen without stepping over each other, wasn’t so strong until a few years back. But, when it was time it all happened, in a month’s time.
As I gave up on my inner struggles of proving myself, or proving I was equal to men, or proving anything at all, I have been so drawn to make a home feel like home. I want a space where my children can come back to and feel safe, where my family can feel like a family.
I always had the creative bug in me. I met my husband because we both started singing and jamming, impromptu, in a class while working on our assignments.
It’s our creative bugs coming together with this need to make our house a home, that VJBuild has come to life. We started with the kitchen a couple years ago, and life kept happening.
Now, we are back to hopefully continue on this journey. 21 years of being together, away from our homeland, trying to build a life, and we are still homesick, ‘cause we both no longer know where home is.
I hope to break the trauma of the uncertainty by making my home and yours a cozy, safe place to stay in. It definitely starts with you. Design is just an excuse and we have been thankful for the turn our lives have taken.
Mum and Dad now live on the 5th floor of the building that was reconstructed, and this time correctly. They do spend their time visiting kids and grandchildren, enjoying the rains, reading newspapers, smelling the fragrance of the wet mud, sipping their tea and being thankful.
And No, I don’t have a qualification, but, it hurts not to try anymore. Maybe I’ll fail, maybe I won’t. I am in for it all!!!
To our GrandMoms, our Moms, our Siblings, our Daughters and all the women in our lives. To every reader who finds a piece of themselves in this blog, THANK YOU!!